How to raise a flake by UnknownPhan
1. When Jonny stomps his feet and throws a fit as a two year old, be sure to let him have his way. It’s so way easier than having to actually deal with it and teach him that the universe doesn’t revolve around him. That way, when he’s in high school, he can do the same thing by skipping classes he doesn’t like, sleeping in because he’s just too tired to go to school, skipping team practices and just simply not showing up for meets.
2. Then be sure to call the school and make up an excuse for him each time he decides to skip class for whatever reason or decides he just doesn’t feel like going to practice/school today because he hates the teacher or the coach was in a bad mood or he got a paper cut or any other reason Jonny comes up with.

3. Be absolutely sure not to keep up with his grades or make sure he’s turning in his homework. That way, when he flunks and can’t wrestle, you can call the school and complain about those awfully, bad teachers who ‘just don’t care’ about poor Jonny! I mean, gees, it’s the school’s responsibility to educate your son, isn’t it??

4. Be sure to emphasize that commitment to the team means nothing. Be sure to schedule vacation, college visits, SAT, doctor/dentist check-ups or time with gramma during the season, but especially be sure to schedule those things on meet days. Don’t bother to read the team schedule or even think ahead 3 months. Oh, yeah, and don’t call and tell the coach that Jonny won’t be at practice or a meet so the team sits on the bus and waits for him when he isn’t going to show up. And do not show up on time to pick him up after an away event. You know, the coaches just love to sit in the school parking lot after getting back at midnight and wait for you to pick up your son.

5. Don’t show up to any parent meetings or conferences. This is very important. Then you won’t know the details about what the team is going to do, you won’t have to volunteer for anything and you absolutely won’t have to hear from one of those awful teachers just how badly your perfect Jonny is doing and, oh my gosh, what YOU could do to help him make his grades better. You will be clueless as to what’s going on in your son’s school/sports life and since you won’t know, then how in the world can anyone blame you?

6. Be sure to throw a major fit because Jonny isn’t varsity, didn’t get to go to district or didn’t qualify for state. Be sure to do this in public and be sure it’s during a meet. Better yet, complain to EVERYONE sitting around you in the bleachers who will listen. After all, Jonny had perfectly legitimate excuses why he couldn’t come to practice every day, why he missed all those meets and why his grades are so poor. Don’t you just wish that everyone would quit picking on your poor Jonny? He’s such a good boy!

Do you think this is funny or a ‘one time-one kid’ thing? It’s not. I see it every single year on many different teams and hear it from coaches and teachers all the time. It's frustrating to teachers, coaches, fans and team mates and IT'S GETTING WORSE!

Here’s a question for you parents out there: When Jonny finally gets out of high school (notice I didn’t say graduates) are you going to call his boss if some poor unknowing guy hires him and do the same—make excuses? Guess what the boss will say: Jonny shows up for work AND does his part or HE DOESN’T GET A PAY CHECK! In other words, he will be FIRED! Are you ready to feed, clothe and house Jonny until he’s 40 years old??

Yes, parents, sports teach commitment and responsibility. YOU can help reiterate those qualities by keeping up with your child’s school work and grades, MAKE them attend class and turn in their homework, MAKE them attend all practices and scheduled meets, MAKE THEM call the coach if they are legitimately sick and can’t make it and do NOT schedule family time or routine check ups during practice/meet times. Start when they’re two and don’t give into their fits. Be consistent in discipline then and they will know you mean business when they’re in high school.

Parenting is hard work. Yeah, you actually have to TEACH them stuff about life and living!